


Someone To Need, Someone To Hold

by yehwellwhatever



Category: American Idol RPF, The Anthemic
Genre: Established Relationship, Love Letters, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-03
Updated: 2012-07-03
Packaged: 2017-11-09 02:53:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/450458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yehwellwhatever/pseuds/yehwellwhatever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neal misses Archie more than he's ever missed anyone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Someone To Need, Someone To Hold

**Author's Note:**

  * For [___set_thespark (setthespark)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/setthespark/gifts).



> Thanks to mmmfelicious and PlacesBetween for the beta. Any remaining mistakes are my own.

Neal can’t remember ever missing anyone as much as he misses Archie right at this moment. For the last five years, he’s been closer to Archie than he has to anyone else. Archie has been the first to know everything ever since they became a _them_.

Except for one time.

The only time he didn’t tell Archie what was on his mind first, was when he was planning to propose. Going to Archie first about that would’ve defeated the purpose, like, _“Hey, I’m planning on asking you to marry me, how would you feel about that? What kind of ring should I get you?”_ He isn’t that much of an idiot that he would do something like that.

Most people probably would have expected him to go to Andy, considering how long they’ve been friends. _Andy_ had expected him to go to him. The logical option for Neal was to go to Kyle though, since he’s married. Dave wasn’t even considered; as much as he loves Dave as a friend, his track record when it comes to relationships is terrible.

One week from now, they will have been married for three years. Neal can’t really believe it’s been that long. It feels like it was only yesterday that he made fun of Archie to his face backstage on Idol.

Neal’s always felt like the strong one in relationships before. It’s not like that with Archie. With Archie he lets himself be vulnerable - not that he’d ever admit that to anyone, but it’s the truth. He lets Archie see sides of him that no one has.

If he could make one wish right now, it would be to have Archie by his side, whether in LA or wherever in Europe Archie is at the moment. Doesn’t matter where, as long as they would be together. Neal thinks they’ve been apart for way too long this time. Sure, it’s barely been a month, but it’s the first time they’ve spent more than a couple of nights apart since they’ve gotten married. With both their schedules though, being together all the time is impossible.

He wonders for a second if Archie ever realized the extent of Neal’s feelings for him. Sure, they’re married, and they’ve shared their feelings for each other more than once. No matter how good Neal might be considered when it comes to writing songs though, he’s never been that good at expressing things verbally. People often call Archie awkward, but the truth is, Neal is ten times as awkward half of the time.

Right now is one of those times when Neal wants to verbally express how he feels. But since that’s not an option, he decides to do what he does best. He writes.

***

_Archie,_

_I’m writing you this letter because I don’t know if I could express what I feel with spoken words. Funny, isn’t it? I’ve written hundreds of songs and I can’t put into words how I feel about you. You mean more to me than words can say, but I’m going to give it a try. Bear with me, please._

_I really can’t believe it’s already been five years. It feels like yesterday that I saw you on stage on Idol when I went to visit Dave. I don’t think I’ve ever told you this, but I remember every detail about that day. ~~Fu-~~ I don’t think I’ve ever told you this, but I admired you even back then. I think I made fun of you to your face that one time, didn’t I? I’m sorry about that._

_I’ve never been as shocked as I was that day when you approached me in Manila, but I would put it in the top ten of the greatest days of my life. If I close my eyes, I can still bring up images of how you looked that morning during breakfast. I wasn’t even paying attention then._

_Since that day, I’ve proudly been able to call you my friend, and not long after, something more. You’re probably laughing as you read this (I can picture that too), and my only regret is that I won’t be there to hear it._

_Even when you’re on tour, like right now, I still feel closer to you than I have felt to anyone in my life. You’re the first (and only) person I’ve ever let get this close, who’s seen the true me. I had a lot of issues before, we both know I did; I was terrified of messing this up, messing you up, when we first started this. But you proved me wrong, and I’m really glad you did._

_I miss you, Archie. I miss you even when you’re around, but now, with our anniversary coming up, Valentine’s coming up right after, I miss you even more. I wish I could be with you, wish I could be there to kiss you and hug you, tell you how much I love you, just_ hold _you._

_Good luck for the rest of tour. Break a leg! (Though not really! I want you home in one piece, okay?)_

_I love you, always and forever,_

_Neal xxx_

_PS._

_There’s a surprise waiting for you when you get home._

_DS._

***

Neal folds the letter and seals the envelope. Writing the address he’s been told Archie will be at come Valentine’s Day in as neat block letters as possible, he momentarily wonders why he didn’t just write an email. A handwritten letter is much more personal though, and he knows that Archie adores all the fanmail he get just because people took their time to make it personal. Hopefully he’ll feel the same about this letter.

Sighing and running a hand through his messy hair, he feels oddly tired. It wasn’t that many hours since he got out of bed, but he’s about ready for a nap. Even thinking that makes him feel old.

The first time he told Archie that, he just laughed at him and said; _“You’re not that old, Neal. You’re only 32.”_ That was right after they had to put Sixx to sleep, and the loss that he felt then is the closest thing to compare how he imagines he’ll feel if he ever loses Archie.

Since then, Archie has told him they should get another dog, but Neal knows that no other dog could ever make up for the loss of Sixx. He’s told Archie as much, and he knows Archie will accept that. They’ve both grown up with pets though, and Neal does miss someone to have around when Archie isn’t there with him.

Walking into the living room, he sits down on the couch, and it doesn’t take long until a white furry ball is in his lap, trying to climb up his shirt. “Hi, there,” he says, taking the furry kitten in a gentle grip, bringing it up to eye level. 

He hopes Archie will like his surprise.

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt _Anniversary_ , provided by ___set_thespark.


End file.
